Should you use sex toys?
Sex toys are a great way to keep your relationships intimate and healthy. As well as bringing fun and excitement to your sex life they are also good for maintaining your sexual health.
Sex toys are becoming more accepted in today's society, though you may be struggling with feelings of shame or guilt. Most people do not discuss their sex lives, therefore when new things are suggested you may wonder ‘Is this for me, is this normal?'
There should be no guilt in exploring our bodies and sex toys are a great way to discover new pleasure for you and your partner in a safe and exciting way.
In relationships we all have waning sex lives from time to time. Whether caused by stress, tiredness or simply taking a back seat to every day life, sex toys can be the perfect solution to putting the ‘spark' back. Take time out with your partner and rediscover each other's desires. Simply choosing sex toys together can bring in that excitement and intimacy that you may be missing.
As a single person, sex toys can be used to discover your own intimate desires. Exploring your own body and discovering turns you on is what leads you to the path of a truly satisfying sex life.
Not only are sex toys fun they are actually good for you. For women who are experiencing orgasmic difficulty, a vibrator is often recommended to help them reach orgasm. The use of a dildo has also been documented as helping keep vaginal tone. In men, there are specific toys that are designed to massage the prostate gland, which can greatly enhance sensitivity and sexual function.
So here you have all the reasons you need to introduce sex toys into your life. Now the only problem you have is choosing which one is for you. Sex toys in your relationship Sex Toys can be something of an enigma. It can be difficult to know when and how to bring them into a relationship. Some people may find the introduction of sextoys into a relationship daunting and it can bring up questions such as "Am I doing something wrong?" or lead to feelings of inadequacies on both sides of a relationship. Unfortunately it is society's misconceptions that have led to these thoughts and feelings, there is nothing wrong with introducing a bit of spice into any relationship. It can even be an enlightening and satisfying experience, furthering trust and understanding between partners. Choosing a sex toy should be an adventure. Time where you and your partner can sit down and talk about what you both want out of the experience and choose something together that meets both of your needs. Don't dive straight into the scary bigger toys, start off slow, choose something that both of you find non-threatening. Communication is key when buying and using toys for the first time, a huge amount of trust is involved the first time, especially if one partner is apprehensive. Listen to what your partner thinks and feels, if there is something you wish to try that your partner is apprehensive about start slowly, build up to it, make sure you are both totally at ease or a positive experience could be turned into a negative one. Once you have chosen a toy and have had the delight of unwrapping your new treasure you need to set the mood. Candles and soft music are the perfect platform to start off any sexual experience. Make the time special, unplug the phone, turn off the TV and concentrate fully on your partner, remember it is as new for them as it is for you. Slow sensual stimulation before bringing out the new toy is a good idea. Soft and loving touch heightens the sensations and helps towards a relaxing and enjoyable encounter. When the time is right to introduce your new toy, take it slow, and relax into the sensations it gives you and your partner, make sure if you need lubrication you have it on hand, there is nothing worse than having to break the moment in search for something, and returning to find the moment has passed. Be honest and open, if you are not enjoying it, say so and stop, there is nothing wrong with admitting the toy you have chosen isn't for you. Maybe the time isn't right, stop and perhaps later try again. You also need to listen to your partner and look out for their reactions. Communication is essential and if they show any signs of discomfort stop. If you or your partner decides to stop and that the toy isn't for you, try something else, there is a huge range of toys on the market, and there is something out there for everyone. If you or your partner has issues, discuss them, there is no shame in being scared or apprehensive; discussing worries can form a strong bond and increase trust and understanding within a relationship. But most importantly Relax have fun and enjoy it. - Try and choose something to suit both you and your partner's needs together.
- Communicate before hand, during and afterwards.
- Set the Mood and relax
- Start Slowly, simply and gently, paying attention to your partner
- Make sure you use lubrication and have it on hand if needed
- Don't be afraid to stop if you or your partner is apprehensive
- Talk out any Issues
- Be patent and Understanding
- Don't be afraid to let your feelings be heard
- Make sure you know how to clean and care for your new sex toy
Types of materials used Sex Toys these days come in a huge choice of different materials, each with its own benefits and advantages. Your choice of material should come down to many factors from the intended use of the toy to sensitivities and allergies to the materials in question. Plastic
Plastic sex toys are much as they were when they first came into the market. Due to the rigidity of the slim plastic shell the vibrations are in direct contact with the skin making the sensation very intense. Hard plastic is among the least likely to absorb body fluids or react with your skin and you can use it with all lubes. Plastic is smooth and easy to clean but of all the materials it has the shortest shelf life. The plastic over time becomes brittle and is prone to cracking but the economical advantage makes them perfect toys for the first time user, allowing a cheap exploration into the world of sex toys.
Plastic is easy to clean using a wet cloth and mild soap or preferably a specially designed sex toy cleaner that also helps kill any bacteria. It is advisable however not to submerge any toy that has a motor in any cleaning agent, or use any agent that can cause skin sensitivity or irritation. Silicone
Silicone's main advantage is that it is hypoallergenic, allowing people who have had previous allergic reactions to materials to use them without risk. The non-porous surface also stops bacteria penetrating its surface meaning less chance of infection should the toy not be cleaned properly. One of the best features of silicone is the way it responds to warmth, it slowly warms up to body temperature and retains it. The Smooth texture of the material lessens friction and allows for smooth penetration when used in conjunction with a suited lubricant. Although you must not use silicone based lubricant with a Silicone toy as the silicone lubricant can melt the body of the toy. Oil and petroleum based lubricants should be used with caution.
Silicone is more expensive than plastic but offers longevity, hypoallergenic qualities and the ability to be sterilised. The soft and warm exterior is also a wonderful bonus giving new users a softer more gentle first experience.
Silicone can be easily cleaned and sterilised with hot water or a sex toy cleaner, it can also be boiled to sterilise or cleaned in a dishwasher, although any plastic components should be taken into consideration. Cyberskin (Ultraskin, Eroskin, Softskin , Cyber Jel-lee, UR3, Futurotic)
Cyberskins are new contenders on the market, the feel and sensation coming closest to real life skin. The mix of silicone and plastic gives it a real feel exterior mimicking how real life skin responds to warmth and friction while maintaining the hardness needed to give it the feel and appearance of real skin. The realistic appearance and feel of Cyberskin makes it perfect for a first time toy, or for anyone who wants something more realistic in the bedroom.
As with Silicone products, Silicone based lubricants must not be used, as it can cause the material to melt, a water- based lubricant is the only lubricant suitable. Oils such as baby oil and massage oils can cause discolouration and tearing, as will the use of any petroleum based lubricants.
One of the disadvantages of Cyberskin is the nature of the porous exterior, it needs very thorough cleaning to minimise any contamination from bacteria. A special cleaner should always be used or an antibacterial cleanser designed for the toy, never use any household cleaning agent as it can severely damage the toy. Once cleaned it is advisable to dry the toy the completely before applying a fine talcum powder to retain the toys soft real feel texture. Great care must be taken if you share a toy made of Cyberskin, the use of a condom is recommended (as with any toy that is shared) to minimise any possible infections being transmitted. Jelly
Jelly toys are made from non-toxic vinyl rubber allowing flexibility and pliability but firmness. The nature of the material also gives a huge choice of colours. There is also a range of different textures ranging from the soft squishy feel to a more "rigid" feel. The in-expense of jelly toys plus the ease of manufacture means there is a massive range to choose from, making them perfect for a first time user or a more advanced veteran looking from something new to experience. The softness and malleability is a big plus allowing stimulation to be guided by yourself or partner.
Water or Silicone based lubricants should always be used with Jelly toys as oil or petroleum lubricants can break down the delicate material, leading to it dissolving.
Care must be taken when cleaning jelly toys due to the porous and delicate nature of the material compared to hard wearing silicone. The exterior is very porous which can allow bacteria to penetrate the surface and an antibacterial product specifically designed for the job is highly recommended. Harsh cleaning agents, boiling water, abrasive cleaners or alcohol should never be used as they will dissolve the jelly rendering it useless. It is always advisable when sharing a sex toy to use a condom to stop cross infection, also being non hypoallergenic it is advisable if you are sensitive to any other materials to use with caution. Latex and Rubber
Constructed from latex rubber the main disadvantage of latex and rubber toys is the sensitivity that has arisen in recent years to these materials. It is advisable if you or your partner have any sensitivities or allergies to condoms to choose a product made of alternative materials. Latex is soft and pliable but not as malleable as jelly, however the in-expense of latex allows a huge choice, and is an inexpensive way to start discovering sex toys. It should be taken into consideration that latex and rubber has a shorter longevity than other products on the market though. It also has a distinctive smell which many people regard as positive feature, adding yet another sensation to their experience.
Water based and silicone lube should always be used when using latex and rubber, oil and petroleum based lubricants should be avoided as it can harm the material.
Rubber and latex are very porous which can lead to bacteria contaminating the toy. When cleaning latex or rubber, warm water, gentle soap or a sex toy cleaner should be used. Harsh soaps or abrasive cleaners will harm the surface of the toy. Pyrex Glass
Pyrex toys are made from medical grade Pyrex, which is extremely strong, and resistant to cracks and chips. The surface and body of Pyrex is smooth and hard, and retains either heat or cold. It has a whole range of advantages but the main one being that it is hypoallergenic and can be very easily sterilised. Due to the nature of the material the designs are sleek and elegant with a wonderful range of patterns and shapes. The smooth hard surface of Pyrex is non porous which means there is no chance of any bacteria penetrating the surface and contaminating the toy. Because Pyrex is so versatile it can be placed in warm water to warm up before use or even chilled, by placing in cold water. This allows new sensations to be explored, making it a perfect material for those wishing to explore further. The only disadvantage is that Pyrex is more costly than the other materials, but longevity and adaptability is something that should be taken into consideration.
Any lubrication can be used with Pyrex allowing its use to be tailored completely to the individual. With Pyrex a little lubrication goes a long way, the smallest amount makes it very slippery and easy to use.
Cleaning of Pyrex is a simple affair, a sex toy cleaner is recommended but Pyrex can easily be placed in boiling water to sterilise, or even put through on a dishwasher cycle, although harsh abrasive cleaners unless washed off completely may irritate the skin on next use. Help with using your Sex Toys Caring & Cleaning your sex toy Your sex toys should be cleaned thoroughly after each use before being stored away appropriately. Proper cleaning and care will help maintain the life of your toy as well as helping you to maintain personal health. A poorly cared for sex toy can deteriorate as well pass on any infections such as Thrush of Chlamydia. How you clean your sex toy depends on the material it is made of, and whether it is waterproof or has any motorised components or batteries. If your toy has become heavily soiled or has ridges and bumps, a soft toothbrush can be used to gently clean it rubbing softly on the areas that need extra cleaning. Your sex toy will last if you take care of it. Proper cleaning and storage will prolong the life of your sex toy, however you should always check before each use for any abrasions or breaks in the surface of the toy or for any mould or fungus growths. Proper storage away from direct sunlight will help against any hardening, brittleness or discolouration as will using the proper recommended lubrication. If you are unsure as to what lubrication to use, a water based product minimises any chance of reaction to the product. Cleaning Plastic:
Remove any batteries
Wash with a sex toy cleaner or mild soap and water taking care not to immerse the unit.
Do not use boiling water or harsh abrasives.
Dry thoroughly
Store in an appropriate place away from direct sunlight Cleaning Silicone:
Remove any batteries
Wash with either a sex toy cleaner or mild soap and water
Do not use an abrasive cleaner
Sterilise with either boiling water, antibacterial cleaner or dishwasher cycle (taking battery compartments or plastic components)
Dry thoroughly
Store in an appropriate place away from direct sunlight Cleaning Cyberskin:
Remove batteries
Use a cleaner designed for the product
DO NOT USE ANY OTHER CLEANING AGENT
Dry thoroughly
Apply a light covering of fine talcum powder
Store in an appropriate place away from direct sunlight Cleaning Jelly:
Remove batteries
Use an antibacterial sex toy cleaner
DO NOT USE ABRASIVE CLEANERS or RUBBING ALCOHOL
Dry thoroughly
Store in an appropriate place away from direct sunlight Cleaning Rubber and Latex :
Remove batteries
Use a antibacterial sex toy cleaner, or mild soap and water
DO NOT USE ABRASIVE CLEANERS
Dry thoroughly
Store in an appropriate place away from direct sunlight Cleaning Pyrex:
Wash with either a sex toy cleaner or mild soap and water
Do not use an abrasive cleaner
Sterilise with ether boiling water, antibacterial cleaner or dishwasher cycle (taking battery compartments or plastic components into consideration)
Dry thoroughly
Store in an appropriate place Lubrication Lubrication or lube as its commonly known is designed to make sex or masturbation easier, safer and more pleasant. There is a whole range of lubricants on the market and which one you use should depend on the use and whether you are using sextoys with it or not. Some materials react badly to some lubricants so it is wise to make sure when buying a lube that it fits your requirements. Water Based
Water based lube is one of the main sellers, due to the fact it is safe to use for most toys. It's available in flavoured lube or unflavoured varieties, the flavoured ones normally being sweet but often slightly sticky. Water based lube doesn't stain, is non-reactive to all materials and rarely causes skin irritation. However, if you do experience a burning, stinging or painful sensation when you use it, stop use and make sure you rinse it off of your skin. Unfortunately water based lube can dry out quickly during a long sex session but it can be revived with a spray of water or drop of saliva. It is also safe to use with any form of birth control including condoms. Silicone Based
Silicone lubricants are completely waterproof making them perfect for underwater activities, plus they retain there lubrication making them longer lasting than water based lubrications. Due to the long lasting and very silky feel it makes it perfect for anal sex and vaginal sex alike. Unfortunately Silicone lube cannot be used with silicone toys as it can cause the silicone body of the toy to break down, but is safe for use with a condom. A main bonus of silicone is that it is completely hypoallergenic, and used with the right toy can stop any reaction even for the most sensitive of people. Solo play Masturbation is a taboo subject, however, a large percentage of the population indulges regularly. If you haven't yet, you're missing out on a good thing. There is nothing shameful or harmful about masturbation, stories of masturbation sending you blind and other such horrid things are just that, stories. Masturbation is a healthy safe and fulfilling thing to do, it gives you a chance to explore your own body, in a safe and healthy environment. There is no chance of getting pregnant or contracting STIs from masturbation, making it the safest form of sex around. Introducing sex toys into your masturbation routine is a great away of discovering what does and doesn't do it for you, allowing you to become more aware of your body and its needs. Ladies & Gents Choose your toy with care, there is nothing worse than unwrapping your parcel to find something is too big or too small. Lay back and relax, get yourself in the mood by reading an erotic book or watching an erotic dvd for example, whatever ever it is that gets your juices flowing and your blood pumping. When you feel ready, lay back and experiment, use your fingers to tease your sensitive areas, making sure you are fully aroused before introducing a toy into the mix. Next, make sure your toy has the necessary lube and position it to where it feels good. Remember it's all about you, you are pleasing yourself, and only you, you have no one else to worry about so do what feels right and good, don't worry how it looks. Vary the pressure and speed, if it vibrates allow yourself time to adjust to the sensations, what may feel initially too intense after a few seconds may settle down and send you to cloud nine. Stop and start as you feel you need to, move around and have fun. Don't be scared to tease yourself, it's the only time you have full say over what you experience and there is no shame in dreaming up a fantasy lover and imagining them doing the things to you that you want. Experiment with other stimulation, visual audio, or just imagination, let your hands explore your body and relax into the sensations and let them guide you. Don't worry if you orgasm to quickly or find the vibrator numbs you slightly making it difficult to orgasm, next time try things differently, if the vibrations are too intense try gentler settings or perhaps using the toy over a towel or soft material. |
